


No, I Can't Tell You How To Say Goodbye

by OnyxFang99



Category: Palaye Royale (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Death, Flowers, Ghosts, M/M, May add to this idk yet, graveyards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 22:21:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18186389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnyxFang99/pseuds/OnyxFang99
Summary: Sebastian mourns as a ghost struggles to deal with his own death.





	No, I Can't Tell You How To Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Done for my Creative Writing.

The gates creak, slicing through the silence. The flowers rusel, a single speck of colour on the monochrome landscape. His boots crunch through snow and disturb the odd peace settled over the graveyard. His eyes comb over the tombstones, searching. His hands ghost through the cold air, freezing.

 

_ Blood dripping through my hands. Red, red, red… _

 

Roses. Red roses. So red. Like that day. Like that horrible day…

 

No.

 

He stops near a small grave. Piles of wilted roses already covering the name. He doesn’t have the heart to remove them. 

 

**“I’m not losing you too!”**

 

He shakes his head. The wind twists its icy hands into his own bare ones. He should’ve worn gloves. He pulls his coat towards him. Blue like the midnight sky. It contrasts greatly against the red, red, roses.

 

He kneels before the tomb, snowflakes perching in his hair. 

 

“Well, it’s nice to see you again.”

 

He brushes chocolate hair out of his face with one hand and lays the flowers down with another, careful not to prick his hands on the thorns.

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t visited lately.”

 

He gently places a shaking hand on the stone. Whether it’s shaking from the cold or… He doesn’t know. He stares at the etched in name, the small letters looking so out of place there…

 

_ It should’ve been me. It should be my name written there. _

 

“Sorry, I’ve just been a little busy.”

 

That was a lie. All he’d been doing was moping.

 

His knees are numb, pressing down into the snow. He pulls his hand back and his fingernails dig into his palm drawing blood as he attempts to keep the tears at bay. Red, red, blood.

 

He should’ve worn a red coat. It would’ve fit.

 

“I haven’t forgotten about you.”

 

He frowns down at the ruby red petals, mixing with blackened buds and settled snow. 

 

**“You’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay,” but he knew it was a lie.**

 

“You know... I almost didn’t come...”

 

He pauses.

 

“...didn’t wanna cry in front of you. You get it?”

 

He sighs, wiping away salty ice crystals trailing down his cheeks, kidding himself that the stinging in his eyes is just from the cold gust.

 

“I- I'm crying anyway huh.”

 

He shivers at the whipping wind. He swears it wasn’t this windy before.

 

He remembers all the time they spent together. Rocking out to their favourite songs, sharing death bringing cigarettes behind the bus, stealing little moments away from everyone else.

 

Those memories just make him cry more.

 

“I should’ve said it before- before everything happened but…”

 

He stands up, towering over the grave.

 

A breath.

 

“I love you.”

 

* * *

 

The graveyard is deathly quiet - befitting a final home of the dead. Feet hover only inches from the ground.

 

But never touching.

 

He stares at the silent graves. He scared the others away a long time ago. 

 

There’s a break in the silence. He looks up from his grave and sees a grim face peek around the trees.

 

A familiar face.

 

_ You came back. _

 

The live man has salty tears dripping down his face. He’s shaking and he’s dishevelled.

 

_ No please don’t cry. _

 

He is holding roses.

 

_ My favourite. _

 

“Well, it’s nice to see you again.”

 

_ Yeah, it’s nice to see you too. _

 

The ghost man hesitantly reaches his hand forward. Not quite cupping his cheek.

 

**“Please don’t go…”**

 

He shakes his head. Attempting to free himself from the memory.

 

“I’m sorry I haven’t visited lately.”

 

_ I don’t care. I understand. _

 

His… friend is on his knees now. 

 

“Sorry I’ve just been a little busy.”

 

_ Please don’t lie to me. _

 

He wills himself to step away. Well, float away. He doesn’t feel the biting cold under his feet or the way his hand lingers on the man’s cheek. 

 

He doesn’t notice the gentle breeze pick up as the tears drip from his face like tiny diamonds.

 

They don’t even touch the ground.

 

“I haven’t forgotten about you.”

 

_ I know. _

 

His feet can’t feel the earth. His hand fazes through the grave behind him as he is blown back by the wind.  _ Has it always been this windy? _

 

“You know... I almost didn’t come...”

 

The ghost is frozen in place. Eyes unblinking.

“...didn’t wanna cry in front of you. You get it?”

 

_ Yeah. I get it. _

 

He’s stopped breathing. It had become more of a habit rather than a necessity to let in air. 

 

The eerie silence unnerves him.

 

“I- I’m crying anyway huh.” 

 

He wants nothing more than to cup his friend's face and wipe the tears away but he knows it’s impossible.

 

The wind should be unbearably cold - but he just feels nothing.

 

“I should’ve said it before- before everything happened but…”

 

_ There’s something I should’ve said too. _

 

The dark haired man gently rises from his spot before the grave. Unbeknownst to the other, they speak the next sentence in sync.

  
  


“I love you.”

 

_ I love you. _

**Author's Note:**

> If you want me to add to this comment below what you think.


End file.
